Randy Pausch | 升呢

Randy Pausch

Twice. His energy, strength and spirit have brought me out of my self-pitying slump twice. I first found out about the Carnegie Mellon computer science professor's 'Last Lecture' on YouTube when a friend (Thanks, Chih!) posted the link on FB commemorating his life. I had no idea who he was then but was curious. So I clicked.

Blown away. I was absolutely blown away, not particularly with the content of his lecture (To be honest, I think all inspirational speeches give the same or similar message.) but simply with him as a human being.

Having witnessed how cancer can torture one's soul, I believe it takes a real strong character for someone in his conditions to speak the way he did in front of an audience. There was not a single shred of doubt, hate or even pessimism. Pure positive spirit and genuine warmth were what I felt throughout the entire lecture. (LOL It did kind of made me regret not going to CMU for undergrad.) How he had achieved that was seriously beyond my imagination. Everyone has the ability to stay strong and sound optimistic under turmoil but the underlying despair would still somehow unwittingly sieve through. Not with Randy. I could not feel anything negative whatsoever, at least not during those 75 minutes. He was absolutely brilliant!

That was 2 years ago. Randy had gradually migrated to the back of my head. Earlier this year, I was going through some personal insecurities. I admit it. It's the dreaded quarter-life crisis. I don't deny that most people around my age are a bunch of spoil brats, myself included, who think that we deserve everything in the world and that the world should run the way we want it to. When the unfortunate happens, as we like to call it, we whine, complain, say the world is not fair, and feel sorry for ourselves. To be fair, it's hard for us not to think that way. We were, or at least I was, brought up having everything that we wanted in the world and having the world run the way we wanted it to.

Anyway, Randy re-emerged back to my consciousness. I decided to buy his book. I guess a good beating is what I would call the experience of reading his book was. It slapped me out of my insecurities and kicked my self-pitying butt out of the slump. Life once again was back to charging full speed forward. Until...

A brick wall. I am currently hitting a HUGE brick wall, as Randy would call it. A wall that I am not confident I can break through. A wall that, even right now, seems like a never-ending inevitablity. Remember a couple months ago when I said I was craving to feel challenged. Yesterday I would tell you I want to take that ALL back. I don't want to feel challenged anymore. It's too much stress, too many bruises to my ego. I wholeheartedly LOATHE feeling incompetent.

Randy Pausch reappeared. Boy, am I glad I watched his lecture again today. "The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something," was the central theme of his lecture. I asked myself, "How badly do I want this?" Bad. Very very BAD. "Ok. Put your retarded ego aside and go break that wall, JY!!!", I finally got the courage to say to myself.

I highly encourage everyone to either watch his lecture or read his book. (<-- Click on the links to access them.) I actually don't recommend doing both because they are practically the same thing. The book just gives a little more details about his life. I know some people, espeically men, don't believe in these gushy, self-help type of talks. But his lecture is still entertaining and fun to watch even without the emotional aspect. He is just an incredible lecturer! I wish I could have had the chance to attend one in person. RIP, Randy Pausch.

升呢

我這半個"祝星"(LOL 我知道是錯別字，我已說過我的中文是很爛的！)剛剛學懂什麼是"升呢"，我覺得人一定要不斷升呢。其實，香港教育最失敗之處不是填鴨式教育，而是忽略了教導如何做一個有用的人，令到許多現今的港男港女沒有思想、沒有目標、沒有要讓自己升呢的想法和行動。

不過要讓自己升呢是一件很艱苦的事，一定要克服很多次的失敗才能進一小步。看看最近紅爆的林欣彤，她唱完Desperado的時候在幾十萬觀眾面前被Theresa老師罵唱錯key，然後要她當場重唱，當時的難堪和壓力，我想做觀眾的我們是很難想像的。雖然最後都得了冠軍，實至名歸，但也要經歷聲帶發炎的傷痛才能得到，真的得來不易！試問有幾多人可以有這樣的耐力來克服那麼多挑戰呢？！

我也將要面臨很多考驗，其實最難克服的是自己的心魔，不順的時候，有時真的很難向好處想，我要不斷和心魔交戰才能平息那些猜疑和挫敗感，不要讓自己氣餒，身心真的會有點累。

不過無論未來有幾多挑戰、幾多辛酸，我也不會放棄的！我寫這個post不是為告訴大家我未來有很多考驗，而是希望能和大家找到共鳴，鼓勵一下大家要繼續升呢，不要放棄喔！！

A Little Bit of Innocence on Tuesdays | Blessing

A Little Bit of Innocence on Tuesdays (Part II)

Leadership is the most common theme amongst all business school applications. Describe a time when you have exhibited leadership, tell me how you had led and motivated others blah blah blah, but I say the ultimate display of leadership is when you can hold undivided attention from all, I repeat, ALL 20 five-year-olds for more than five minutes, actually three will probably make you a rockstar (to kids that is).

If you fail to lead a group of adults, it can, to a small extent, be attributed to someone else's lack of responsibility. We inherently assume that everyone is a responsible individual because we have been taught to be for years. Your failure is partly a result of someone else's inadequacy in following through with his/her responsibilities. This also holds true the opposite way. Your success as a leader stems from your team members' diligence in completing their allocated tasks.

On the other hand, your success and failure to hold a group of five-year-olds' attention is entirely based on you. They have yet to learn to be responsbile individuals, which is to sit still and listen. Their short attention span is not a consequence of ADHD but purely because of the nature of being a kid. They start talking about chocolate when you are telling them about flowers is simply because you are b-o-r-i-n-g.

After my 2nd meeting with the class, I quickly learned that not only must I go with the flow of their questions and remarks, otherwise I lose their attention, but must also steer their focus to the scope of our activity, otherwise the activity would go nowhere. Easier said than done, just like everything in life worth doing.

I know it sounds cliche but what they say about how much you learn from working with kids are all indeed true. I learn how to be truly innovative, none of the thinking outside of the box crap, as in the sky is the limit type of innovation. I learn how to really flex mental agility, with 10 million questions ranging from how come the sky is blue to are you going to bring us candies all coming at you at once, well you get the idea. But honestly, best of all, I learn how to indulge in being a kid again. And boy, did that feel gooooood! ^____^

So have I become their rockstar, you ask? Well I got them to do this...


which is rockstar enough to moi! >_^

(Took me almost 3 months to post part II partially because I haven't upload the picture above to my computer until, well, today and partially because, as always, laziness. =P)

Blessing

兩個多月不見，怎麼中文的標題是英文"Blessing"？是否忘了怎樣寫中文？說真的，要我用中文寫作其實是件很困難的事，我是在國際學校長大的"西港女"喔！(如看見錯別字，請告訴我，多多指教!^_^) 用"Blessing"是因為最近小女子對一段陳年往事有些新啟發。

好心和愚笨的我，好玩唔玩，玩做媒人，結果變成兩男一女的局面。（我已說了"愚笨的我"，這點你不用再提醒我。）得米的男子對我說想得到沒得米的男子的"Blessing"(祝福)，如果可以舊事從演的話，我會這樣回答他...

得米男: I want his blessing.
小女子: Blessing? Why is that even necessary? You are already dating her. In fact, the best blessing that YOU can give him is not to happily show up with her in front of him to make him feel like a loser because you got her and he didn't. Give him some time to recuperate his now hurt ego.

中文版

得米男: 我想得到他的祝福。
小女子: 祝福？需要嗎？你已得到美人歸，幹嘛要人家的祝福？相反，你不在他面前大搖大擺地和美人一臉幸福的出現是對他最大的祝福。
(看，中文一句，一針見血，能代替英語的好幾句，這是我一直以來堅持要學寫中文的原因。)

要是當時有這樣的智慧，坦蕩蕩的告訴他，他這樣的想法害人又不利己，無聊到極，能否讓他想清楚第二日就歡喜地帶著美人去找沒得米男要他的"Blessing"是多麼的無聊和殘忍？

你想說，往事已過，何需從提呢？因剛過去的週末碰見了得米男和他的"美人"，撩起了這段一直讓我有點遺憾的往事，總覺得整件事情可以處理得有體面一些。我是一個習慣反思的人，會在自己的過去找出能做得更好的地方，好讓未來遇到類似事件時，能處理得更恰當。經一事，長一智吧！智慧是從經歷裏磨練出來的，就如下次要我做媒人我也會三思、三思... =P

Lost Love | 親人

Lost Love

Accidentally stumble upon this today...


Dearest You,

I am sorry. You must have felt like you've been abandoned and discarded. If I tell you now that it was never my intention to do so, it'll probably sound superficial. To be honest, neither did I realize how much it broke your heart. I was tired of the relationship, tired of being "we". I guess I wanted freedom, freedom to be myself and pursue my own dreams.

I truly wish I can still be by your side, be there with you through your sorrows and happiness. I honestly do, regardless of how ridiculous it sounds. I wish I had the strength to be the one who will always stand by you. But, unfortunately, I don't and I am truly sorry for it.

I hope you've found that person. I did loved you with all my heart and neither you or I can deny it. I still do but no longer as lovers. I wish you all the best in life and hope that some cosmic forces will bring this blessing to you.

With all of my heart,

Me




親人

"做我最親密的親人
不是誰的情人 誰的某某某

讓我還敢做我的夢
做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄"

仍然沉醉在"下一站，幸福"的幸福裏，超愛插曲"親人"，看了歌詞更愛極了，上面的幾句很能代表我的心情。雖是女孩子的博客，但到現在還沒談過感情事，其實我不太喜歡講，總覺得兩個人的事沒必要向其他人交代，更加無需說出什麼對愛的偉大言論，每個人對愛情都有他的看法，沒有對和錯、好和不好。但看了"親人"的歌詞有些想法還是想說出來，因為太喜歡這首歌了。

可能曾經結束了一段頗長的關係，領悟到愛情不是熱情、激情能維持到，也不是什麼天長地久的誓言，或者是找全世界最棒的愛人。這首歌說出不要被愛情的感覺蒙騙了，忘了真正愛一個人其實只是要在他身邊默默地支持、守護著他。

"做我最親密的親人，不是誰的情人 ，誰的某某某"

我覺得說得很貼切，愛人就如親人，不是為了拍拖已拍拖，或做某某的男/女朋友已在一起。一直以來我都想找個能

"讓我還敢做我的夢，做我夢中偉大的微笑的英雄"

很天真吧？我其實真的不是什麼事業型的女強人，只不過對愛還抱住天真單純的態度吧。=P

Sandy | 婷

I've been brainstorming hard for an appropriate topic for my 1st blog entry. It's not that I haven't found anything intriguing to babble on (more like found too many of them). At last, I've decided to start off with one that's close to my heart - family, more precisely, my sister.



Sandy

O where shall I begin with this 2-year my junior sibling of mine? Hmm...let's start by writing something that I will NEVER, I repeat, NEVER say to her face-to-face.

"You are one of the smartest girl I know and I am very proud to be your sister!"

There are numerous, countless, multitudinous number of times that I wish she never exists or want to eliminate her out of existence. But when that anger dies down, I cannot be more fortunate to have a sister like her. Her strong desire to excel in life is my motivation to keep pushing boundaries and continue venturing my life towards higher, unknown grounds. I never want to fall behind her footsteps, if not ahead. I guess this is what you call "sibling rivalry"?

But this sibling rivalry is probably one of the best things in my life. What's better than a contender whose also an ally? Success tastes that much sweeter when you can share it with whom that both challenge and support you to achieve it. Sometimes it is the oxymoron in life that completes us.

Don't expect me to ever say those few words in person. Why? I need to keep her ego in check...HA! =P


婷

我和這個妹真的不太像姐妹，除了中文名和高度相約之外，從樣貌、性格、到衣著品味、生活習慣，我和她的共通點近付零。雖然未嘗不是一件好事，最低限度不會爭男朋友，但就常常鬥嘴。如果在同一屋簷下相處二十四小時不對峙一次的話，那天太陽必定從西邊起。

不過我很興幸有她這個妹，她讓我學會怎樣和人鬥贏嘴，因為能夠學會鬥贏她的話，其他人只要用三成功力就能擺平。講笑！弄一弄爛gag而已！

說真的，她讓我學懂耐心地從他人角度了解事物，訓練我擁有頗高EQ與不同意見的人溝通。如果沒有她，我可能不會領悟到如何用坦率、敢言但溫和的態度對待別人。

如果你覺得我有點囂或"寸"，那你就一定沒遇見過我這位小妹妹了！>_^



P.S. 小女子初次提筆如錯字百出（像鄧才女）或詞不達意，請多多包含和多多指教！^_^