青春
青春
常說中年人最懷念的是青春，因為慢慢看著自己的皮膚漸漸皺起來，身體漸漸大不如前，很不是味兒。雖然我都尚算青春，還不算能對號入坐(呵呵)，我反而覺得他們最懷念的其實是自由。
年輕時的不羈，無憂無慮、無負擔的生活，不需要到中年也讓人懷念。我最響往大學時所為的自力更身，真不明白為何有人覺得那段日子甘苦。攤開手就有錢過活，雖然洗燙煮食全都要靠自己，但那些又需要多少自力呢？前面到畢業的路已鋪好，最大責任是讀好書，你只需踏上那條路，那幾年的生活就不需想太多了。
The Lost Decade
(Ok, my bad for completely lacking behind on writing blog posts. Indeed, a lot has happened in the early part of this year.)
The Lost Decade
Thanks to the now presumably dead Osama Bin Laden, I would always remember my first day in the US. It was September 10, 2001, one day before 9/11 occurred. On that September night, I would had never imagined that 1) a terrorist attack would happen the next morning, and 2) I would be spending the next ten years of my life in the US. Not really because I didn’t want to, more because I was 18, who thinks that far when you are a teenager?! (Wow, haven’t used that word in awhile!) You can truly feel your age when you can say ten years passed by in a blink of an eye.
Japan called its worst economic period the lost decade. I’m calling my decade in the US ‘the lost decade’ for a very different reason. It’s ten years that are forever lost in history and memories, never to be taken back or re-lived again. To be honest, I cannot imagine a better place to spend my past ten years. The US was indeed the right place for me to groom myself into adulthood. I met some of my bestest friends but also lost some along the way. I experienced some of my most happiest times and also some of the solemnest moments. Just as Heraclitus rightly said so, “Change is the only constant”, things come to an end while new beginnings sprout. Ten year is indeed a nice whole number to complete my journey in the US.
Boston, I’m afraid we've finally broken up. It has been a bumpy ride but I have to say it was worth every moment. I would not be where I am now without you. But I’m still damn glad that I will no longer be cursed by your never-ending, butt-freezing winters!! ^_-
P.S. Please spare me on writing a Chinese version. I write in Chinese almost everyday now. =P
1.1.11 | 壹壹年.壹月.壹號
1.1.11
Swoooooosh! There goes another year. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!! This year went by REALLY fast. It seems only yesterday when I wrote this. Let's see how I had done in 2010.
Well, I failed pretty miserably with Project IIIone3, didn't I? Told you Gemini's are NOT known for routines. But I did pretty well with Chinese writing. Although looking back at some of my Chinese posts, I definitely need to polish up on some diction. I'm still pleasantly surprised that I can write in Chinese that makes sense. Before I started writing, the last time I wrote a proper Chinese paragraph (let alone essay) was maybe when I was 14/15, freakin' over 10 years ago!! Doesn't seem like it, does it?
So what's next? After evaluating that doing something everyday is just NOT my thing, I'm thinking to tweak Project IIIone3 a bit for 2011 to better fit my Geminian transient behaviors. I am still very interested in documenting a year in photographs. But that's still work in progress...
I also hope to write at least one blog post per month and to focus more on current affairs. As my posts had pretty blatantly exhibited, 2010 had been quite an emotional roller coaster, hence, the very often 'Chicken soup for the soul' type of entries. But this year I want to write about things that are a lot less affectionate and a lot more controversial. Even I'm tired of my touchy self!
Without further ado, let's roll the curtains up for 2011! ^_-
壹壹年.壹月.壹號
新的一年又開始了！祝大家新年快樂，希望大家過了個充實的2010，也希望2011會更加好！
我想首先回應一下KW同學的'A better year?'。我總覺得二十來歲，常常覺得不安、凡事往往不順意是很理所當然的，如果我們安於現狀，覺得自己已經做得很好，應該不變地繼續下去，那就代表我們對自己的要求太低了吧。Avatar和Titanic的導演James Cameron曾經說過"If you set your goal ridiculously high and it’s a failure, you will fail above everyone else’s success." (如果你達不到為自己定下非常非常高、高到接近不可能的目標，你的失敗已經是別人的成功了。)
凡事總可兩面看，當你認為自己很成功的時候，一山還有一山高，你的成功只不過是別人的小山丘。相反，在你沮喪的時候，別忘記有很多人在山腳正在朝著你的小山丘邁進。
我也認同，不改善自己就改變不了現狀和未來。但不論怎樣改也好，我們都應該繼續不安下去，繼續覺得自己運氣不夠好，繼續努力啊！
(我發誓，這將是我最後一次'Chicken soup for the soul'條目。哈哈！=P)
Randy Pausch | 升呢
Randy Pausch
Twice. His energy, strength and spirit have brought me out of my self-pitying slump twice. I first found out about the Carnegie Mellon computer science professor's 'Last Lecture' on YouTube when a friend (Thanks, Chih!) posted the link on FB commemorating his life. I had no idea who he was then but was curious. So I clicked.
Blown away. I was absolutely blown away, not particularly with the content of his lecture (To be honest, I think all inspirational speeches give the same or similar message.) but simply with him as a human being.
Having witnessed how cancer can torture one's soul, I believe it takes a real strong character for someone in his conditions to speak the way he did in front of an audience. There was not a single shred of doubt, hate or even pessimism. Pure positive spirit and genuine warmth were what I felt throughout the entire lecture. (LOL It did kind of made me regret not going to CMU for undergrad.) How he had achieved that was seriously beyond my imagination. Everyone has the ability to stay strong and sound optimistic under turmoil but the underlying despair would still somehow unwittingly sieve through. Not with Randy. I could not feel anything negative whatsoever, at least not during those 75 minutes. He was absolutely brilliant!
That was 2 years ago. Randy had gradually migrated to the back of my head. Earlier this year, I was going through some personal insecurities. I admit it. It's the dreaded quarter-life crisis. I don't deny that most people around my age are a bunch of spoil brats, myself included, who think that we deserve everything in the world and that the world should run the way we want it to. When the unfortunate happens, as we like to call it, we whine, complain, say the world is not fair, and feel sorry for ourselves. To be fair, it's hard for us not to think that way. We were, or at least I was, brought up having everything that we wanted in the world and having the world run the way we wanted it to.
Anyway, Randy re-emerged back to my consciousness. I decided to buy his book. I guess a good beating is what I would call the experience of reading his book was. It slapped me out of my insecurities and kicked my self-pitying butt out of the slump. Life once again was back to charging full speed forward. Until...
A brick wall. I am currently hitting a HUGE brick wall, as Randy would call it. A wall that I am not confident I can break through. A wall that, even right now, seems like a never-ending inevitablity. Remember a couple months ago when I said I was craving to feel challenged. Yesterday I would tell you I want to take that ALL back. I don't want to feel challenged anymore. It's too much stress, too many bruises to my ego. I wholeheartedly LOATHE feeling incompetent.
Randy Pausch reappeared. Boy, am I glad I watched his lecture again today. "The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something," was the central theme of his lecture. I asked myself, "How badly do I want this?" Bad. Very very BAD. "Ok. Put your retarded ego aside and go break that wall, JY!!!", I finally got the courage to say to myself.
I highly encourage everyone to either watch his lecture or read his book. (<-- Click on the links to access them.) I actually don't recommend doing both because they are practically the same thing. The book just gives a little more details about his life. I know some people, espeically men, don't believe in these gushy, self-help type of talks. But his lecture is still entertaining and fun to watch even without the emotional aspect. He is just an incredible lecturer! I wish I could have had the chance to attend one in person. RIP, Randy Pausch.
我也將要面臨很多考驗，其實最難克服的是自己的心魔，不順的時候，有時真的很難向好處想，我要不斷和心魔交戰才能平息那些猜疑和挫敗感，不要讓自己氣餒，身心真的會有點累。
不過無論未來有幾多挑戰、幾多辛酸，我也不會放棄的！我寫這個post不是為告訴大家我未來有很多考驗，而是希望能和大家找到共鳴，鼓勵一下大家要繼續升呢，不要放棄喔！！
Twice. His energy, strength and spirit have brought me out of my self-pitying slump twice. I first found out about the Carnegie Mellon computer science professor's 'Last Lecture' on YouTube when a friend (Thanks, Chih!) posted the link on FB commemorating his life. I had no idea who he was then but was curious. So I clicked.
Blown away. I was absolutely blown away, not particularly with the content of his lecture (To be honest, I think all inspirational speeches give the same or similar message.) but simply with him as a human being.
Having witnessed how cancer can torture one's soul, I believe it takes a real strong character for someone in his conditions to speak the way he did in front of an audience. There was not a single shred of doubt, hate or even pessimism. Pure positive spirit and genuine warmth were what I felt throughout the entire lecture. (LOL It did kind of made me regret not going to CMU for undergrad.) How he had achieved that was seriously beyond my imagination. Everyone has the ability to stay strong and sound optimistic under turmoil but the underlying despair would still somehow unwittingly sieve through. Not with Randy. I could not feel anything negative whatsoever, at least not during those 75 minutes. He was absolutely brilliant!
That was 2 years ago. Randy had gradually migrated to the back of my head. Earlier this year, I was going through some personal insecurities. I admit it. It's the dreaded quarter-life crisis. I don't deny that most people around my age are a bunch of spoil brats, myself included, who think that we deserve everything in the world and that the world should run the way we want it to. When the unfortunate happens, as we like to call it, we whine, complain, say the world is not fair, and feel sorry for ourselves. To be fair, it's hard for us not to think that way. We were, or at least I was, brought up having everything that we wanted in the world and having the world run the way we wanted it to.
Anyway, Randy re-emerged back to my consciousness. I decided to buy his book. I guess a good beating is what I would call the experience of reading his book was. It slapped me out of my insecurities and kicked my self-pitying butt out of the slump. Life once again was back to charging full speed forward. Until...
A brick wall. I am currently hitting a HUGE brick wall, as Randy would call it. A wall that I am not confident I can break through. A wall that, even right now, seems like a never-ending inevitablity. Remember a couple months ago when I said I was craving to feel challenged. Yesterday I would tell you I want to take that ALL back. I don't want to feel challenged anymore. It's too much stress, too many bruises to my ego. I wholeheartedly LOATHE feeling incompetent.
Randy Pausch reappeared. Boy, am I glad I watched his lecture again today. "The brick walls are not there to keep us out; the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something," was the central theme of his lecture. I asked myself, "How badly do I want this?" Bad. Very very BAD. "Ok. Put your retarded ego aside and go break that wall, JY!!!", I finally got the courage to say to myself.
I highly encourage everyone to either watch his lecture or read his book. (<-- Click on the links to access them.) I actually don't recommend doing both because they are practically the same thing. The book just gives a little more details about his life. I know some people, espeically men, don't believe in these gushy, self-help type of talks. But his lecture is still entertaining and fun to watch even without the emotional aspect. He is just an incredible lecturer! I wish I could have had the chance to attend one in person. RIP, Randy Pausch.
升呢
我這半個"祝星"(LOL 我知道是錯別字，我已說過我的中文是很爛的！)剛剛學懂什麼是"升呢"，我覺得人一定要不斷升呢。其實，香港教育最失敗之處不是填鴨式教育，而是忽略了教導如何做一個有用的人，令到許多現今的港男港女沒有思想、沒有目標、沒有要讓自己升呢的想法和行動。
不過要讓自己升呢是一件很艱苦的事，一定要克服很多次的失敗才能進一小步。看看最近紅爆的林欣彤，她唱完Desperado的時候在幾十萬觀眾面前被Theresa老師罵唱錯key，然後要她當場重唱，當時的難堪和壓力，我想做觀眾的我們是很難想像的。雖然最後都得了冠軍，實至名歸，但也要經歷聲帶發炎的傷痛才能得到，真的得來不易！試問有幾多人可以有這樣的耐力來克服那麼多挑戰呢？！
我也將要面臨很多考驗，其實最難克服的是自己的心魔，不順的時候，有時真的很難向好處想，我要不斷和心魔交戰才能平息那些猜疑和挫敗感，不要讓自己氣餒，身心真的會有點累。
不過無論未來有幾多挑戰、幾多辛酸，我也不會放棄的！我寫這個post不是為告訴大家我未來有很多考驗，而是希望能和大家找到共鳴，鼓勵一下大家要繼續升呢，不要放棄喔！！
The Love of My City | 歸屬感
The Love of My City
While in Seattle waiting to board my flight back to Boston, images of my past four days in Vancouver were rolling through my mind like a Kaleidoscope. I couldn't stop thinking how much I have missed the city, my childhood friends, and the house and neighborhood that I grew up in.
It suddenly dawned on me that I can attribute the cities that I've lived in like lovers that I've fallen in love with. Here's how I'd attribute them:
Vancouver = The first love that I'll never forget. The city that contains my happiest memories. After leaving it for over a decade, I'm still in love with it!
San Diego = An ex-lover that I'm now best friends with. SD reminds me of the hardworking and ambitious self during my college days. I only wish that motivation and passion in me never die down.
Hong Kong = An ex-lover that I barely talk to. Never was, is and will probably never be a big fan of it; even though, technically, it is my true hometown. I never really feel like I belong there.
Boston = A lover that I'm still trying to breakup with. I've definitely met some great friends here but still doesn't beat the hardships that I went through. I'm sure years down the road, I'll look back on this 'relationship' and appreciate every bit of it. But right now, my loathe is blinding me from doing so. >_<
What do you think? Not a bad comparison, huh? ^_-
歸屬感
閻奕格說她從小就移民到不同的國家，覺得好像哪裡都擠不進去，不知道自己屬於哪裡。其實我多少也可以感同身受，數數看，在我人生裏我也在四個很不同的城市生活過。我覺得歸屬感與我們在每個城市裏的經歷有莫大關係，閻奕格覺得寂寞很可能是她在每個地方都經歷過很多辛酸，每次花了很久才適應到新的環境，但沒多久又要搬家了，很難定下來靜靜地過日子。
我不太喜歡在波士頓和香港的生活，大概都是因為類似的原因吧。不知為何在這兩個城市裏都經歷到很多風風雨雨和避不了的是非，很無辜和無奈地掉進很戲劇化的糾纏，讓我非常厭倦在這裡的生活。相反，我非常享往在溫哥華和聖地亞哥的日子，因為過得很寧靜，沒有大起大跌，很少是非，讓我能享受到平靜的幸福，真的很懷念啊！~_~
如果對一個地方的回憶都是擠滿無奈和辛酸，我們很難對那個地方產生歸屬感。歸根究底，其實所有關係都歸咎於緣份，沒什麼能控制得到我們在不同地方的經歷，我們只能用緣份來解釋為何在這裡碰到某某，或在那個地方遇上某些事，我也只能求神拜佛地想我和波士頓應快緣盡了吧！>_<
My Morning Coffee | 我被遺棄了
My Morning Coffee
This morning was such a tragic morning. I found out that my MOST FAVORITE morning coffee place has permanently closed down. I was in shock! I stood in front of the store dumbfounded, trying to peek through the windows to find any sign of renovations, indicating that it was only a temporary shut down. But there was nothing. 90% of the store had been cleared out. People passing by was staring at me wondering what the heck was wrong with me. Then tears started rolling.... Just kidding! I'm not that big of a drama queen... heh
But still it literally feels like someone just broke up with me. My morning coffee from Peet's is the one thing that I look forward to every morning when I wake up and what keeps me going throughout the day. Yes, I am in love with this coffee. (Well, more like it's my ecstasy, coke, weed, whatever drug you'd like to call it.) It somehow puts me into an awesomely good mood every morning that lasts the entire day, which no coffee from anywhere else can do.
But now it has left me. I have nothing to look forward to when I wake up. The coming winter looks so grim! The thought of getting warmed up by Peet's coffee is what pulls me out of bed during those bleak, gloomy days. How am I going to survive this coming winter?! T_T
我被遺棄了
咖啡對我來說一直只是用來解決我的睡魔，不是因為喜歡喝而喝，直到嚐到Peet's的咖啡，喝第一口就愛上它了。它比其他品牌的咖啡濃郁得多，味覺上有很厚的層次感，有點像紅酒品種裏的Cabarnet Sauvignon吧，有人嫌它太苦澀，我就覺得剛剛好，苦澀裏帶點甘香，是其他咖啡做不到的效果。在嚴寒的早晨裏，拿著暖暖的一杯，一口一口地喝著，暖胃又提神，真的能讓我暫時忘記那灰溜溜的天空。
可是，好景不常，在我辦公室附近的Peet's突然倒閉了！我的天啊！為什麼要把我在Boston那可惡的冬天裏唯一的快樂帶走呢？！我現在的感覺好像被情人遺棄了，前路茫茫，不知將要來臨的冬季會怎樣過。難道真的要我這個大懶蟲，每天早點起床自己做Peet's咖啡。快樂是否永遠都有限期的？~_~
Happiness = Stress?! | 遲來的春天
Happiness = Stress?!
Today, I received one of the best news in a llllooonnngggg time. But what I find surprising was that the amount of satisfaction and happiness that the news brought upon is directly proportional to my stress level. The happier I am, the more stress I'm feeling. Shouldn't they be inversely proportional? ~_~ (Gosh, how more nerdy can I be using "proportionality" to describe life?! =P)
In any case, I really treasure what I have earned today. It is a result of years of sweat, diligence and, sometimes, tears. I just hope good fortune keeps rolling my way because I'll be needing A LOT of it for the next 10 months!
遲來的春天
四年的努力終於有成果了，差點以為這個遲來的春天永遠都不會來，想不到它在我最需要它的時候來臨，生命的起伏真的很難預計，但依然不可鬆懈，將要開始學習管理的理念了。 ^_^
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